27 and a PhD

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Celebrating life

Welcome to my blog!

Hello there, awesome reader. My name is Dr. 27. I'm older than that now, but I'm staying faithful to the origins of the blog.

This blog started 2 months before completing my PhD in a pretty southern university back in 2009. It was a way to practice my writing and take a break from all things thesis. My PhD is in a branch of structural biology where I studied some rather impressive stuff.

After completing the degree, I packed my life of 6 years in 3 days and moved to Canada to do a postdoc in a completely different field. Two years later, and after attending a lot of seminars, workshops and doing some much-needed soul-searching, I ended up getting out and looking for an alternative path to academia and industry.

The blog chronicles my mishaps, ideas, musings and tips on entering, staying and finishing grad school. It also talks about some (or a lot) of personal stuff. For a while, the blog became a place to talk about the frustrations of not knowing what to do after PhD. I wanted to explore alternatives to the traditional paths of research (academia, industry and goverment) whilst going back to my field of training (if at all possible). Eventually a job materialized. Follow my quest as I navigate the waters of being a staff scientist at a core facility.

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Yes, yes. I know that during the last year I’ve started more than a few posts with the words ‘live’, ‘living’, ‘alive’, ‘still here’, etc, etc …

But this is a different alive. This is current me looking back at this time last year and wondering how I didn’t jump off a cliff, how I managed to stay on foot and appear semi-neurotypical, given how nasty things were going in my professional life. I’m thankful for listening to my voice (and the voice of my other half) and seeking help, even when I thought there was nothing wrong with me.

There were many, many things going bad in my life. I just couldn’t feel. I thought I was sane (I was sane, and extremely anxious and depressed), but I was just going through the motions, and I didn’t even realize that! I was a zombie and I was too hurt to even realize it.

Looking back I can see that I’m miles away from that old me. I’m able to feel, able to celebrate, cry, stomp my feet when an instrument is being a jerk. I still have triggering moments … but not having to see the PI that made my life hell on Earth has been quite fantastic. I haven’t had a relapse, and my meds are a bit lower than they were 6 months ago.

I’m able to be who I am, warts and all. People don’t think I’m crazy when I do a happy dance if an experiment works. I troubleshoot with more confidence, and learning doesn’t feel like a chore. It’s fun. I haven’t had this much fun since my 3rd year in grad school (the year I did most of my data collection and trained other labbies) or NYC.

But more than work-related stuff, I feel content with where I am in life. I’m honestly happy with who I am, with what I do, with where I live … I’m really liking this new lease on life. I’m on my way to conquer many small hills that will teach me valuable lessons and contribute to my overall well-being. I signed up for a conference, and I’m preparing a talk for a department (a sales pitch). I am genuinely enjoying life; something I didn’t think possible just 365 days ago.

Be well. It does get better.

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