27 and a PhD

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Resolutions 2013 – revisited

As usual, I wrote some NY’s resolutions for this 2013. The first quarter of 2013 has been packed with lots of excitement and changes, and I’m hoping that things will settle a bit after that. Today, I’m pleased to share a little bit on how one of my NY’s resolutions went down. This one involves Mr 30 and a PhD … and the day we got married.

After honey proposed at the end of 2012, we discussed several things, including how to celebrate our union, our vision for our wedding day, and of course, the change in plans brought about by the new job which I’m starting in two weeks! One of the things we talked about was how the new job has similar benefits to my current one, which going from a postdoc to a staff scientist meant the world to me (hello vision and dental care, and oh, I have a 401K *finally*). In addition there are other benefits, including a reduced rate at the school’s gym, life insurance benefits, etc. And since hon will be freelancing while we get our act together in new job city, I want him to be able to take his meds and not worry about going to the hospital or paying retail price for meds.

I was also enamored with the idea of getting married at City Hall in NYC and we agreed to get married before we embarked on our new adventure. We looked into the possibility of getting married at home, but there are blood tests and things to sign, same thing in new job city, and it was more cost effective and shorter to do it here in the city. First we had to get our marriage license, which had to be signed by the two of us. I started that process a few weeks ago and printed my confirmation number to get that out of the way. We wanted to get married a wee before the move, to have some time as buffer in case we forgot our IDs or something worse. Hon then planned to get here for Valentine’s week so we could spend a few days together, pick up our marriage license and get married. But, winter storm Nemo delayed our plans, threatening to keep honey away from NYC. I was crushed.

Thankfully the storm didn’t wreak havoc in my neck of the woods, and hon was able to get here, the day after he was supposed to. That delayed our plans a bit, but we managed. First we picked up the marriage license. We stopped at my borough’s local office, waited, and waited, and waited and then chatty guy called our number. That’s when things started feeling real for me. The moment I saw our names printed out on the paper … that’s when it hit me. We were getting married in 24 hours!!!!!

The next day we woke up early and took a subway all the way down to City Hall. The area around City Hall is very pretty, with lots of big buildings, and the Brooklyn Bridge as its backdrop. We got there on time, me dressed in a borrowed dress, him in a new shirt and comfy shoes. The weather was cooperating a bit, meaning it didn’t rain or snow, but it was windy.

Then our witness and a friend who served as photographer, met us, and in we went to *again* get a number, wait for our names to be called, and wait some more. After checking our IDs, paying the ceremony fee ($25, in addition to the $35 we paid for the license) and checking that all the info was correct, we waited. And waited some more. And waited even more. After, our names were finally called, and we were ushered to the area near the chapels, were ceremonies are conducted. One cool thing I noticed was that many couples, both straight and gay, were getting married. I never imagined, not even in my wildest dreams, that the day I got here (which was close to the day that same sex marriage was recognized, *finally*, in NYC) and looked outside my window at the Empire State Building, beaming with the rainbow colours, that I’d be able to see any willing and able couple get married … or that I’d be married here too.

Finally, our names were called. The justice of the peace checked in with us and asked whether he was saying our names right, and off we went. The energy in that chapel was positive. Hon and I were holding hands, looking at each other, looking at our two friends, trying to soak it all in. The ceremony was short, sweet and funny. After saying our I do’s and exchanging rings, we finally kissed and embraced. We were husband and wife, at last.

I stopped for a second and reflected on how sad this day had been in the past. Almost a decade ago, my college sweetheart broke my heart, on the exact same day hon and I got married. My heart was broken, I was shaken and sad, and angry. And all those not-so-wonderful feelings we experience during a heartbreak. I remembered how sad I was at the prospect of spending time on my own, of being alone … and how sure I was I’d never love again, and of course, how I’d be single for the rest of my life. Oh the joys of being 21, right? And now, here I was, holding my hon’s hands, calling him my husband. Life indeed turned around, and happiness had come back into my life, even after some heartbreak.

I looked at my hon and realized how blessed we’ve been. How the city that reunited us, served also as the backdrop to the beginning of our adventure as a family. I’m truly blessed to know this man, to call him my husband, to be his wife. I’m still getting used to the words husband and wife. I can’t believe we’re married and that in two weeks we’ll live in another city, away from NYC, with new responsibilities … but we’ll be together at last. I’m delighted to know that I married my true best friend, my companion of 7 years (and counting) and that we have each other to lean on. I am also happy that one of my resolutions, the best one, is now off the list.

How are you doing resolution-wise?