27 and a PhD

Home » Grad school » Stress helps me spend the money I don’t have and need to move

Stress helps me spend the money I don’t have and need to move

Welcome to my blog!

Hello there, awesome reader. My name is Dr. 27. I'm older than that now, but I'm staying faithful to the origins of the blog.

This blog started 2 months before completing my PhD in a pretty southern university back in 2009. It was a way to practice my writing and take a break from all things thesis. My PhD is in a branch of structural biology where I studied some rather impressive stuff.

After completing the degree, I packed my life of 6 years in 3 days and moved to Canada to do a postdoc in a completely different field. Two years later, and after attending a lot of seminars, workshops and doing some much-needed soul-searching, I ended up getting out and looking for an alternative path to academia and industry.

The blog chronicles my mishaps, ideas, musings and tips on entering, staying and finishing grad school. It also talks about some (or a lot) of personal stuff. For a while, the blog became a place to talk about the frustrations of not knowing what to do after PhD. I wanted to explore alternatives to the traditional paths of research (academia, industry and goverment) whilst going back to my field of training (if at all possible). Eventually a job materialized. Follow my quest as I navigate the waters of being a staff scientist at a core facility.

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So, next week I’ll defend my PhD thesis. I’ve been telling myself, and my friends, family and boyfriend that I’m fine. Sometimes I even believe it myself … but I’m scared shitless and I can’t believe that the defense date is almost here.

Like some others who turn to food for comfort, I turn myself into a buying machine, when stressed. I cannot begin to describe the rush I get. It’s like a drug. And with the excuse of having my 28th b-day this weekend, my thesis coming up, my BF’s b-day coming up too and my thesis, and my thesis again, that I’m shopping like a maniac.

I should get a good hold of myself since I’ll be moving in ~ 2 weeks. Thinking of every single thing I need to pack, sell (not being very successful on that one, ugh!), donate or throw away should move me away from buying. At least I’m not using my credit cards. I got really scared this last cycle because I went over the limit for 3 friggin’ dollars since a monitoring service I had signed up for (and then called to cancel) had not been canceled and I was charged for it. I called them and fixed everything, and tried to move money from my bank to my CC account but that takes at least a day and this was on a weekend. I was also close to the limit on my bank’s overdraft protection thing, so I had to do some scary maneuvers to avoid being hit with double overdraft/overspend charges. This goes to show you how stressed I am. Luckily I’m paying off that CCard and hopefully next year I’ll be able to close it.

I went today to the mall with a friend and almost bought a dress for 99$. Thank GOD we thought it was 56$ (I’d picked another one from the same designer at a nearby rack that was discounted 43$). I checked the price and left it on the rack. But then I went to Target, spent 17$ on a pizza (I don’t have the stamina to cook these days), frozen blueberries and a pack of razor cartridges that was discounted). Then I stopped at a car washed and got my car washed for 9$ (I was planning on doing this one since my mom is coming soon and I wanted to have my car clean and nice looking). Today I received a vintage purse I ordered 2 weeks ago and one of my BF’s b-day gifts.

I’m telling you. At this pace, I won’t have money left to pay for my cat’s vaccines (if she needs to get any before we move), my work visa (~150$), gas for the trip, the u-haul thingie to haul my boxes, etc and all the other expenses. I guess I’m tricking my mind into thinking that since my rent is finished here and I’ll pay for next months rent with my paycheck at the new job everything is fine. I’m supposed to receive my last check from the department at some point … which I’m hoping won’t be at the end of the month, but who knows.

Everything is NOT fine. I’m stresses and scared. I like to plan ahead, but can’t. I feel like crying, but I can’t …. so I turn to spend my hard-earned dollars on cute shit. Ugh!

More to come in the next few days.

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5 Comments

  1. […] I’d love to knock out 2 of those debts by the end of this year. It’s a promise I made to myself prior to starting in my new lab. I hate living in debt, especially because I had no real reason to get in debt, other than wanting to live the american dream and trying to fill in gaps and things in my life with nothing other than stuff. […]

  2. […] I’d love to knock out 2 of those debts by the end of this year. It’s a promise I made to myself prior to starting in my new lab. I hate living in debt, especially because I had no real reason to get in debt, other than wanting to live the american dream and trying to fill in gaps and things in my life with nothing other than stuff. […]

  3. […] missing, money, new, PhD, postdoc, sad, school, spend, things to miss, tired, undergrads, writing In previous posts I had mentioned that the BF didn’t know about my debts, how I got into debt, how I want to get […]

  4. […] old school sucked! so being at the mercy of whatever was left of my stipend with little money and money to pay up on other things didn’t leave much wiggle room for getting sick AND affording treatment … major sucky […]

  5. […] my money wisely while I was in grad school. To try to avoid my mistakes please read here and here. Know that you’ll more than likely be paying for rent, so factor that into the equation, […]

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